Getting Started Writing Your Wedding Vows: Thought Questions, Tips, and Advice

Writing your wedding vows is one of the most personal and memorable tasks you’ll undertake in the wedding planning process. These words will encapsulate your love, commitment, and promises to your partner, creating a heartfelt moment that will resonate throughout your marriage.

John ‘s advice is to open up the notes app on your phone and use the microphone icon to verbally record your feelings as they come to mind. Do this over a several months in the lead up to your wedding and you’ll have a great start when writng your wedding vows when the time comes.

Here’s a comprehensive guide to help you get started on writing your wedding vows, including thought-provoking questions, practical tips, and valuable advice.

Thought-Provoking Questions to Inspire Your Vows

To begin, reflect on these questions to gain clarity on what you want to express in your vows:

  1. When did you know they were the one?
    • Think about the moment you realised your partner was your soulmate.
  2. What do you love most about your partner?
    • Focus on the qualities and characteristics that you cherish.
  3. How has your partner changed your life?
    • Consider the positive impact they’ve had on you.
  4. What do you admire about your partner?
    • Highlight traits that inspire and motivate you.
  5. What challenges have you overcome together?
    • Reflect on the hardships that strengthened your bond.
  6. What are your hopes and dreams for your future together?
    • Look ahead and share your vision for your life as a couple.
  7. How do you plan to support each other?
    • Think about the promises and commitments you want to make.
  8. What makes your relationship unique?
    • Identify the special aspects that set your relationship apart.

Tips for Writing Heartfelt Wedding Vows

Here are some tips to help you craft vows that are both meaningful and memorable:

  1. Start Early:
    • Begin writing your vows several months before the wedding to give yourself ample time to reflect and revise.
  2. Be Authentic:
    • Write from the heart. Your vows should reflect your true feelings and personality.
  3. Keep It Concise:
    • Aim for a length of 1-2 minutes. This keeps the vows impactful and prevents the ceremony from dragging.
  4. Speak in Your Voice:
    • Use language that feels natural to you. Avoid clichés and overly formal phrases.
  5. Include Personal Stories:
    • Share anecdotes that illustrate your relationship’s journey and your love for each other.
  6. Balance Emotion with Humor:
    • A touch of humor can lighten the mood and make your vows more relatable.
  7. Avoid Over-Sharing:
    • Keep intimate details private. Remember that your audience includes family and friends.
  8. Practice Aloud:
    • Read your vows out loud to ensure they flow well and to help with memorisation.

Advice for Delivering Your Vows

  1. Practice Regularly:
    • Rehearse your vows multiple times to build confidence and reduce anxiety.
  2. Stay Calm:
    • Take deep breaths and pace yourself. It’s okay to pause and collect your thoughts.
  3. Make Eye Contact:
    • Look at your partner while speaking to create an intimate and connected moment.
  4. Have a Backup:
    • Bring a written copy of your vows to the ceremony in case nerves get the best of you. John will provide copies for you beautifully presented.
  5. Trust Your Emotions:
    • It’s natural to feel emotional. Embrace it and let your feelings show.

Sample Vow Structure

To help you get started, here’s a basic structure for your vows:

  1. Opening:
    • Start with a statement about your partner or your relationship. For example, “From the moment we met, I knew my life would never be the same.”
  2. Personal Stories:
    • Share a meaningful anecdote or two that illustrates your journey together.
  3. Promises:
    • Make specific promises to your partner. These could range from “I promise to always support your dreams” to “I vow to laugh with you every day.”
  4. Closing:
    • End with a heartfelt conclusion, such as “I am honored to become your partner, your confidant, and your best friend. I love you now and forever.”


Writing your wedding vows can be a daunting task, but it’s also an incredible opportunity to express your love and commitment in your own words. By reflecting on your relationship, being authentic, and following these tips, you’ll be able to craft vows that resonate with both you and your partner. Remember, the most important thing is to speak from the heart.


These links will direct you to detailed guides and articles on writing wedding vows.

The Wedshed – (John’s Recommendation)

The Wedding Wire

The Knot


Happy writing and if you need assistance talk to John Middleton who will guide you through the process!